


Fanny Pack Filled with Secrets

by kaileyistrash



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Steve also has a crush he just doesn't know it, Steve keeps a diary, Tony has a crush, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaileyistrash/pseuds/kaileyistrash
Summary: Steve keeps a detailed diary and things get weird around Avenger Tower after a certain New Year's Eve party...





	Fanny Pack Filled with Secrets

**January 2**

 

     Sorry I haven’t updated this in awhile. Things have been a little hectic with the Avengers. We all moved into the tower with Tony about two months ago and it’s been nice to get closer to the others. I’ve had a problem forming deep and meaningful relationships since I woke up in the future. People are a lot different than they were when I was growing up. But, they’re different in a good way. I’ve just been trying to adjust, I guess.

     Anyway, we celebrated Christmas together and wow I’ve never been happier! Tony let me decorate (he wasn’t going to and that was not going to fly with me). It was Thor’s first official Christmas celebration so, I ended up having to explain some things to him (Tony even convinced him that Santa Claus is real). I decided to make everyone their very own Christmas sweaters to commemorate our first Christmas together and, if I do say so myself, I think they turned out pretty good.

     Of course, Stark decided that we HAD to have a New Year’s Eve party. He invited all of New York, not kidding. I walked out into the living room for maybe five minutes before I completely freaked out and locked myself in my room for the remainder of the night. Natasha was not happy with that particular decision but I couldn’t handle being around that many people who were mostly drunk and clinging all over me. My kiss at midnight was one from a snowflake that flew in from my open window while I watched the fireworks light up the night. 

     I haven’t seen any of my teammates since then. I think they’ve all been passed out in their rooms for the past twenty-four hours. I’ve checked on them, they’re all fine. Before future me kicks my butt. I’m surprised they had all made it to their beds after the nights they had. I was even surprised that when I, oh so hesitantly, entered Tony’s room, he was alone. I’m not stupid. I know about Tony’s playboy tendencies and after breaking up with Pepper, I definitely expected him to have many rebounds. 

Anyway, I’m going to go out for a run and maybe someone will be awake when I get back.

 

**January 15**

 

     Okay so things have been….weird around here. Everyone is back up and functioning again. But there are only a few of us actually left in the tower. Bruce had to go to Switzerland for some science thing, Clint had some “private things” he needed to attend to so he left and Thor went back to Asgard to check on things. So, the only remaining are myself, Natasha and Tony. Tony has been in his workshop for a few days and has JARVIS on lockdown so that no one bothers him. So, the only human interaction I’ve had in the past week or so has been Nat. She’s been acting a little unusual though. She hasn’t been saying much at all. Especially when I bring up New Year’s. I immediately apologized to her for abandoning her at the party but, once I explained myself to her, she forgave me. So, why she was so touchy when I asked her how it went, I’m still not sure. 

 

     UPDATE: Tony finally emerged from his workshop and he looks wrecked. I just watched him walk into the kitchen (thank god. I thought I was going to have to break into his workshop and force food into him). But he never looks quite this bad when he comes up from his shop. Usually he looks better when he comes out than when he goes in! With some new invention or upgrade of something in hand to gush about. But today, he just looks….lost. I think I’m going to go talk to him.

 

**January 16**

 

     Well, talking to Tony in the kitchen didn’t really get me anywhere. He told me that he’s “fine” and that all he wanted was a sandwich. Of course, I couldn’t just leave him alone. I followed him back to his workshop and annoyed him until he finally told me  _ something.  _ He told me that he may have gotten a little too drunk at the New Year’s party and Nat might have seen and heard some things that she probably shouldn’t have. That was when he kicked me out of the workshop.

     So, I decided to make a nice dinner for the three of us. I forced Tony up the stairs and into his chair at the dining room table while Nat just-appeared. We ate in an incredibly uncomfortable silence. Stark and Nat kept their eyes trained on their plates, avoiding all eye contact. Once I had reached the last few bites of my food, I couldn’t handle the tension any longer. I had a bit of an outburst and asked them what in the world they had gone through. 

     There was more awkward silence but, they were looking up from their plates now so, that was better. Finally, Nat broke the silence. She began to say something that I didn’t quite catch before Tony slammed his fist on the table, effectively causing us to shut up. That was when he said, a pained look on his face, “Nat walked in on me having a self-pitying party for myself on New Year’s and I may or may not have confessed some unrequited love for someone on the team.” 

     Now, that threw me for a loop. Don’t get me wrong, I know that Tony has normal, human feelings but he almost never shares it with anyone. He must have been really drunk. I definitely thought that was the end of the conversation because Tony seemed flustered enough. Boy was I wrong because the next thing he said definitely shocked me. 

     “I would  _ never  _ have said anything if I weren’t drunk so, you’re out of luck, Steven. Unless America’s golden boy wants to get me drunk, you’ll never know.” I swear, there was a wink at the end of that sentence. Maybe I was overthinking it all because I was NOT expecting that to be his problem. 

     After that, Tony left the table and Natasha looked even more concerned than she had before we sat down for dinner. So, tonight was a bust ??? I definitely don’t WANT to get Tony drunk because, that’s immoral but, I also really want to know who he has a crush on. I’ll figure something out.

 

**February 1**

 

     Alright, so things have sort of developed since I last updated this diary. Actually, things have definitely developed since then. So, I was left for at least a week trying to figure out how I was going to figure out who Tony is crushing on without getting him drunk. Just when I thought that would be my absolute last resort, I realized something. I could just try and weasel it out of Natasha.

     Of course, with her being a master assassin and what not, she is incredibly hard to break. So, I had to do it slowly and over time. At least that was the plan. Until I lost all patience and just bothered her until she screamed at me in the gym. She locked the door to the gym and sat me down on one of the mats. She told me that, if she were to tell me what she heard, I had to promise not to do anything about it until Tony decided to make his move or not. Of course I agreed, I’d be stupid not to. At that point, I seriously just needed to know. So she says to me,

     “I was looking around for you at the party on New Year’s when Tony stumbled into me. He was obviously drunk off his ass and I was desperately trying to get past him when he dragged me into the pantry and closed us in. I was getting ready to punch him in the throat and leave when he started to cry. I’m not exaggerating either, so don’t give me that look. Anyway, he told me that he was looking for someone. The person he wanted to be his kiss at midnight. So, I asked him who he was looking for. You seriously won’t believe who it was, Steve.” 

     I implored her to tell me who it was because my mind was racing with possibilities. 

     “He told me that he wanted Bruce to be his kiss at midnight.”

     Now, to say that surprised me would be an understatement. Bruce? I thought the two of them were only friends because of their vast knowledge of science. Not because Tony had a secret crush on Banner. It gave me a weird feeling in my chest to hear that it was Bruce but, I pushed that aside and sighed at her. She immediately left the gym after that and I went to work on some of my punching bags. 

     I can’t explain what the hell is happening to me anymore but, maybe things will start to get better soon.

 

**February 7**

 

     I’m not typically the type of person who has any sort of feelings about Valentine’s day. But, this year, it feels as though it’s being shoved down my throat. Tony actually had the common space decorated for the occasion. Clearly his sudden change of heart had something to do with his crush on Banner. 

     I’m still not entirely sure why I find myself getting angry whenever I see them together or why I have the sudden urge to leave the room every time they walk in. There’s just something about it all that has been making me feel some kind of way.

     I have found myself out of the tower more than I am inside anymore. I go for my normal morning jog but then I find every excuse not to return to the tower. It’s my home but recently things have just not felt quite right. I mean, I’m currently writing this on a bench in Central Park. I have been gone for a little over five hours. Which is absolutely ridiculous because there might be an emergency Avengers thing but, I cannot bring myself to go back there. 

     Hang on….I think I just saw Tony across the fountain. There’s no way! He rarely goes outdoors just to be outdoors. Oh crap I think he’s looking at me. He  _ can’t know  _ I keep a diary.

 

**February 14**

 

     It’s valentine’s day. I woke up in the worst mood and I just wanted to go back to sleep. But, being the all-too-perfect person that my body thinks I am, I couldn’t get back to sleep. So, I went on a run, thinking that would help me clear my thoughts and fix my mood. I don’t think I’ve ever been more wrong in my life. As soon as I made it into the city, I was hit with valentine’s decorations, people of every kind walking through the streets, holding hands. I don’t think I’ve ever seen real life people with a look in their eye exactly like the dumb heart eyes emoji. So, what did I do? Obviously I ran as far outside of the city as I could. I ended up in some barren fields and I began to feel a little bit better. At least there I wasn’t being constantly reminded that I have some kind of feelings for Stark. 

     Like I’ve said before, future me, don’t kick my butt. I just, can’t explain why I get this way around him. Those brown eyes with little golden flecks are probably the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever had the honor of looking into. People don’t usually romanticize brown eyes but they clearly have never had the opportunity to look into Anthony’s eyes when he’s incredibly happy. 

     I honestly think I’m going to hell. But, if I’m being entirely honest, I don’t care anymore. If that means that I can spend the rest of my life getting to wake up and have the opportunity to see Tony making coffee after a late night in the shop, his hair looking so cute and fluffy, I’ll be happy to send myself straight to the very pits of hell. 

     The only reason that I’m finally writing about all of this, and not suppressing it any longer is due to a situation I ended up in last night. I had decided to go see a movie, an excuse just to get myself out of the tower and looking as though I have more of a social life than I really do. When Nat decided that she was going to announce that to the rest of our teammates, as though it was an open invitation to join me. When told what I was going to see, Tony immediately agreed, along with Barton and Thor (who decided to drop in for a visit). 

     I was really hoping to go do this alone but, it would have been rude to turn them down. So, we went. Tony insisted on buying the movie tickets for the rest of us (which I thought about turning him down and paying for us to go, given that it was my idea but, he would have fought me and I didn’t want to ruin the fun). So, I bought popcorn, like three of those huge buckets because I knew that Thor would end up eating a lot of it before anyone else had a chance. We went into the theater and everything was great. I ended up seated between Tony and Barton. Typically, I wouldn’t mind sitting next to Tony all that much except that I hadn’t really spoken much to him since Nat had told me about his apparent crush on Banner. So, when there was an incredibly sad scene during the movie and I instinctively laid my hand on Tony’s knee, I think every nerve-ending in my body screamed at me. Of course, it would have been even more awkward if I had ripped my hand away. So, I casually left it there for a minute and then gently retracted my hand. What was I thinking?

     The movie was amazing and everyone was exceptionally well-behaved (aside from a few instances when Thor would scream at the characters for being morons or when Barton would make crude jokes for absolutely no reason). At that point I had calmed down my nerves and I was just trying to act like a normal person and walk out of the theater with the rest of my friends. THINGS. WERE. NORMAL. UNTIL, I was walking out of the restroom and there he was. That gosh darn beautiful genius. Just leaning against the wall, not really paying any attention to anything, looking like an angel. I swear, if I had any kind of spine when I’m around him, I may have just kissed him right then and there. 

     That’s when I realized that I couldn’t avoid those feelings any longer. I feel like I’ve been shoving them way down deep for a long time and just never realized it??? Or maybe I did and just assumed that was how it felt to have a really amazing friend. I don’t know and apparently, it doesn’t matter because he apparently has a crush on HIS best friend. 

     Anyway, I guess I can’t avoid going back to the tower any longer. Nat has sent me several text messages and I’m sure she needs me for something.

* * *

 

     Steve found himself walking as slowly as he could muster through the city and back to Avengers tower. He had his hand gently resting on his fanny pack, containing his diary and favorite pen, as though he were protecting it from anyone daring to attack.  As though people knew that he was hiding a diary with his deepest thoughts.

     He hadn’t even stepped two steps into the tower when Nat walked off of the elevator with a look of silent anger.

     “What the hell, Steve? You couldn’t look at your phone and, I don’t know, respond? I would have called but I know how you are when you’re out on one of your runs. But, if you had taken a second to look at your phone when you took a breather, you might have seen that I have news for you.” Natasha grabbed Steve’s wrist and dragged him onto the elevator, jabbing at the button that would take them to the communal living area.

     “Sorry, Nat. I was writing and then I came home. What’s going on?” There was a hint of guilt in his tone but, he was powering through.

     “Well, Stark has lost his mind. Something is happening and Bruce sounds angry. I need you for backup in case we have a Code Green situation.” 

     The elevator beeped, letting them know that they had arrived at the communal level. As soon as the doors parted, they were greeted with Bruce hollering at Tony. Neither one of them could quite understand what he was saying but, as they made their way into the living room, it was clear.

     “Tony, I don’t care that you drink a little bit when you work but this?! This is ridiculous! You could have killed us all! What if that machine had blown up? Were you even thinking?!” Bruce hadn’t sounded that angry since the last time he Hulked out. 

     Steve immediately ripped off his fanny pack, throwing it onto the island in the middle of the kitchen and leapt to action. “Hey, Banner, what’s going on?”

     Bruce turned his head ever so slowly toward Steve, a pale green creeping up his neck. “Tony just tried to blow us all to shreds but he doesn’t care because he’s drunk off his ass!” That last part was screamed down the stairs where Tony was chuckling.

     Natasha joined Steve and gently rested a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “Hey, big guy. I think that you and I should go for a walk while Steve talks to Tony. He’s always able to guilt Tony into feeling bad for his stupid decisions.”

     Bruce took a deep breath and, without another word, turned and let Natasha lead him to the elevator. 

     Clint and Thor looked utterly relieved and flopped onto the couch. Sighing, Steve rubbed his forehead and walked down the stairs to Tony’s workshop. 

     Tony was leaning against the glass wall, separating his workshop from the rest of the house, a champagne bottle in hand. He had a huge smirk on his face as Steve planted himself in front of the drunken man.

     “What are you doing, Stark? You haven’t been like this since New Year’s.” Steve could feel the stern look on his face but, it was all a facade. He couldn’t be all that angry with Tony until he really messed up.

     Tony chuckled and looked up at Steve. “Ohhhh Steven. Nice that you finally decided to show up! I heard that Romanov was trying to contact you for awhile. Go on another one of your ridiculously long jogs? Or do you only do that when you see me first thing in the morning?”

     He must be drunk because there was no way he would be saying any of this to Steve’s face if he was sober. Not that he was making any sense, anyway. 

     “I went for a jog and then I did some, uh, drawing in a field and I didn’t have my phone on. As soon as I was finished drawing, I came right home. I don’t avoid you, Stark.” There was a strong feeling in Steve’s chest that something was seriously going on here. 

     Tony scoffed and took another swig from the champagne bottle. “Suuuuuure. Just like I don’t pretend to just accidentally come up from my workshop at the exact time that you are getting breakfast.” He turned on his heels and walked into the workshop.

     Steve followed right behind him, before the door could close and lock him out. “Uhm, alright...That’s not really the issue right now though. Right now we’re talking about the fact that you are irresponsibly drunk and trying to blow things up. Why are you doing this? I thought you’d be excited about valentine’s day?”

     Steve hadn’t seen Tony like this in a very long time. The last time that Tony had been emotionally drunk like this had been on his birthday the year before when he couldn’t believe that he had lived this long. That was understandable. But this? This didn’t make any sense.

     “Are you kidding me, Steven? Listen to yourself! Are you honestly asking me why I’m not excited about valentine’s day? Really?!” There was a hurt glint in those beautiful brown eyes and Steve felt as though he were being stabbed in the chest. He never meant to hurt Tony.

     “I just-Nat told me-”

     “Oh you have got to be  _ fucking kidding!  _ Natasha told you! I should kill her for this!” Tony attempted to stagger past Steve, but he held strong. 

     “Stop it, Stark! You’re acting like a crazy person. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal that she told me. It’s nothing that I couldn’t figure out on my own anyway.” Steve tried, he really tried, to keep his tone even and normal. But, that failed as soon as his jealous thoughts began to creep back to the forefront of his mind. 

     As the words had passed through Steve’s lips, Tony’s entire demeanor fell. Steve watched  as the charisma left Tony’s body. “Just go. I’ll make sure that I don’t blow anyone up. I’ll probably go sleep this off in one of the cars. Don’t bother me.” 

     Steve stood there in disbelief for a few moments before he walked out of the workshop, glancing over his shoulder to see Tony. He was walking toward one of his prized sports cars, looking...broken.

     Steve joined Clint and Thor on the couch to watch a movie, not expecting the genius billionaire to come up from his drunken stupor any time soon. His mind had desperately begged him to just ignore everyone and go back to his room to curl up in bed, a sad heap. But, he needed to be awake and ready for Tony to join the land of the living. He needed to explain himself to a much more sober version of Stark. 

     Natasha and Bruce came through the tower about an hour after Steve had made dinner for himself, Thor and Clint, the pair going straight to their rooms. Things were much less tense so Steve wasn’t worried about needing to fix anything.

     Sitting on end of the couch closest to the set of stairs leading to Tony’s workshop, Steve reluctantly watched a documentary about some bank heist gone wrong in the ‘80s. He held out as long as his body would let him before the world was black and he was wrapped in the soft arms of slumber.

* * *

 

     Tony woke up in the backseat of his favorite black convertible with a world shattering headache. Someone really needed to stop him from drinking that much ever again. 

     Coffee. He needed coffee. Which he’d need to go upstairs to get. Why hadn’t he brought one down to the workshop yet? Oh, that’s right. Because Mr. Perfect told him that it was forbidden because he’d never leave his workshop if he had one. It wouldn’t have stuck had it not been for Pepper and just about every other being in the tower agreeing.

     Without attempting to glance at a clock or open his mouth to ask JARVIS what time it was, Tony dragged himself out of the car and up the stairs.He was not about to deal with the harsh fluorescents or the loud noises on the elevator.

     Once he reached the halfway point, Tony began to step lightly, knowing that if Steve had stayed up to confront him, he would hear him coming up the stairs. When he reached the top of the staircase, he was surprised to see Steve dead asleep on the couch. His head was hanging off the back of the couch, lips slightly parted. There was a blanket strewn haphazardly across his lap, probably the work of Thor or Natasha. The super-soldier looked utterly relaxed and vulnerable. Seeing him like that reminded Tony how much Steve had hurt him before he blacked out. Fuck that guy. He could sleep on the couch and wake up all achey for all Tony cared.

     If Steve thought that Tony’s feelings “weren’t a big deal” then he didn’t deserve the chance of seeing Tony looking and feeling like shit. 

     Avoiding all light, Tony stepped as lightly as humanly possible through the living room and into the kitchen. All he needed right now was the familiar rush of caffeine through his system.

     Once he had some coffee and Advil pumping through his veins, Tony’s head began to thrum at a much lower roar. He took a seat at the island in the center of the kitchen, Stark Pad in hand. He figured that if he were going to get anything done, it would be right as the shock of caffeine ran through him. After setting himself up with a project, the blue light radiating from the Stark Pad glinted against something that was sitting right across from him on the island. As his eyes adjusted, he immediately recognized the fanny pack. That had to be Cap’s fanny pack. Just lying there, completely unprotected.

     Steve always kept this thing close by, as though he hid all of his secrets in there. Should he take advantage of this opportune moment? ...Yes.

     Tony had every right to know at least one of Steve’s secrets since Steve knew one of his. 

     Abandoning his coffee and tablet, Tony grabbed the fanny pack and carefully unzipped. No way. A diary?! That old man seriously kept a diary?! Jackpot! Tony flicked on the lamp on the counter, completely forgetting his headache, and began reading.

* * *

 

     Soft lips. Those were the first words that surfaced in the blackness of Steve’s thoughts. What an incredibly realistic dream. Wait...Is that champagne?

     Steve opened his eyes to be greeted with those warm brown ones that he had just been dreaming about. What in the world? “Tony?” His voice came out much more gruff and tired than he had wanted but, he didn’t care.

     Before his brain could process anything else, those lips were pressed back against his. Taking a moment to catch up with what was going on, Steve caressed Tony’s face and kissed him back. If this was a dream, why not just go for it?

     Woah...Steve gently pulled away from the alluring taste of coffee and alcohol that was so utterly Tony Stark, trying to catch his breath. “Wait...Why?”

     Tony chuckled as a warm blush spread across Steve’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose. “I found your diary while you were sleeping. It was on the island in the kitchen and I was angry. I probably shouldn’t have read it. Actually, I definitely shouldn’t have read it. But, I did. I only planned on reading one passage just to have some dirt on you because apparently you had some on me. But, I got a little carried away and read the entire diary. I’m really sorry about that but, you like me?”

     Did this supposed genius  _ really  _ just ask if Steve liked him after reading his deepest, most honest thoughts? “Really, Stark? Of course I like you! But, I thought you had a...uh...thing...for Banner?”

     The hearty laugh that escaped Stark shocked Steve as he continued to look at the man on his lap as though he had suddenly grown an extra eye. “I really can’t believe that you could ever believe that I had a crush on Banner. Don’t get me wrong, the man is a genius but he’s a little too...green for my taste,” Stark said, a quiet chuckle following at his own joke.

     “So, you don’t have romantic feelings for Bruce? Then why did Natasha lie to me?”

     Tony shrugged, a contemplative look in his eyes. “I couldn’t tell ya, Cap. That woman continues to be a mystery to me. Anyway, it kind of seems like you’re missing the big point here.” Tony gestured to the position that they were in and smirked.

     Steve sat there in utter silence, staring at Tony, letting everything sink in. So, Tony did  _ not  _ have feelings for Bruce Banner. He had feelings for-

     Steve’s thoughts were abruptly cut off when Tony grabbed his face and kissed him as though he were trying to push all of his thoughts and feelings into it. 

     The two sat in perfect silence for a few moments while they both caught a breath before Tony’s ADHD kicked in. “So, Steven, will you be my star spangled man with a plan?” A smile was playing around the edges of Tony’s lips as Steve blushed like a mad man. He really needed to get his blushing under control. It was beginning to become a serious problem.

     “As much as I  _ hated  _ that reference, of course I’ll be yours. As long as that means that you’ll be mine.” There was a quiver to Steve’s voice, thanks to the massive hoard of butterflies that had awoken inside of his chest.

     “I don’t know, Capsicle. That may be too much for you to handle.” There was definitely a cocky smirk behind those words. Steve knew that Tony was purposefully trying to get under his skin but, he loved it.

     “I’ve handled a lot more than you, Stark. Give me all you’ve got.” As cheesy as he knew he sounded, he couldn’t help himself. He had such a rush of happiness pumping through his every fiber and he couldn’t help but thank God for finally coming through and making his dreams come true.

  
  



End file.
